13 Tips for Supporting an Aging Parent
Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash
As difficult as it may be to think about, as we age, it is inevitable that our parents are aging too. This reality often sneaks up on us. One day we’re seeking their guidance, and the next we’re noticing subtle signs that our parents may no longer be able to do everything they once did with ease. We may find that the people who once cared for us throughout all those years are now the ones who require our support. For many people, this shift can feel surreal; it marks a new stage of life that we may not feel fully prepared for.
Also read: 6 Tips for Supporting a Friend with Depression
This role reversal can bring up a lot of emotions. It can be confusing, difficult, or even a little strange. You might feel sadness for the changes you’re witnessing, worry about what the future will look like, or even guilt for not knowing exactly how to help. These feelings are normal and valid. It’s a big change, and big changes often require major adjustments to navigate. The good news is that you don’t have to move through this transition alone, and with the right strategies and supports, caring for an aging parent can become more manageable, and even deeply meaningful.
Below are some tips that may be helpful as you support a senior parent.
13 Tips for Supporting an Aging Parent
1. Accept What’s Happening
This can be easier said than done. When we’re young, our parents can feel almost like superheroes. They seem to know all the answers, give the best advice, and are always there to support us. This shift can bring up a lot of emotions, and processing them may feel challenging. Giving yourself time and focusing on learning to accept what is happening can make it easier to respond with compassion and clarity.
2. Establish a Plan
It’s best to understand your loved one’s wishes early, while they are able to communicate them. Do they want to stay at home as things progress? Would they prefer to move to a care facility? Having a plan in place early allows you to adapt as needed.
3. Involve Outside Help
Your loved one may be eligible for home-care hours or community supports, depending on their situation. Caregivers can help with a wide range of tasks and can be an invaluable source of support along this journey.
4. Lean Into the New Normal
Your loved one may require help with daily tasks or errands. Sharing the load with other family members or accessing outside supports can make the transition easier for everyone involved.
5. Keep an Updated Calendar
Supporting an aging parent often means keeping track of appointments, care schedules, and other obligations. Keeping a shared calendar (digital or posted on the wall) helps everyone stay organized and reduces stress.
6. Psychosocial Needs
Many older adults find themselves spending more time indoors, which can lead to feelings of isolation. Helping them access social opportunities, whether through community programs, phone calls, virtual visits, or outings, can boost their emotional well-being.
7. Exercise Matters
Daily movement can support both physical and mental health. Encourage your loved one to participate in activities that are safe and appropriate for their mobility level, and consult with their doctor if you’re unsure.
8. Meal Prep
Preparing meals in advance can help ensure your loved one’s nutritional needs are met. If time is limited, services like Meals on Wheels or local meal-prep programs can be extremely helpful.
9. Use Care in Communication
Be mindful not to scold, condescend, or speak impatiently. This can be a stressful time for everyone, and choosing gentle, respectful language supports your loved one’s self-esteem. You may also need to adjust how you communicate based on their needs, speaking more slowly, using simple sentences, giving one instruction at a time, or reducing background noise if they have hearing or cognitive challenges. Remember, it is a privilege to care for those who once cared for us.
10. Self-Care Matters
Taking care of yourself is essential, not optional. Exercise, nutritious meals, rest, and connection with others will help you stay grounded. Support groups (online or in person) can provide validation and understanding. If you feel overwhelmed, seeking help from a doctor or therapist can provide additional support.
11. Promote Independence
Doing too much for someone can unintentionally diminish their confidence. Encourage them to do what they can safely manage. If they can’t bake independently, perhaps they can help mix a batter. If chopping vegetables isn’t safe, maybe they can assemble the salad. Small tasks help maintain motor skills and a sense of autonomy.
12. Be Aware of Caregiver Burnout
Caring for a parent can be deeply meaningful, but it can also be exhausting. Caregiver burnout is common and can show up as irritability, fatigue, sleep issues, guilt, sadness, or feeling overwhelmed. It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and recognize that you cannot do everything alone. Taking breaks, asking for help, and accessing respite services are not signs of failure, they are essential parts of sustainable caregiving.
13. Prioritize Safety Planning
Safety concerns often increase as parents age. Simple home modifications can make a big difference, including grab bars in the bathroom, non-slip mats, improved lighting, or ensuring medications are taken correctly. If wandering, falls, or memory issues are a concern, consider discussing a safety assessment with a doctor or occupational therapist to identify risks early and create a safer environment.