6 Tips for Supporting a Friend with Depression
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
It’s never easy watching the people we love struggle. It may feel as though you’re watching an old version of them fade away and feeling unsure about how to support them. And while it’s not your job to solve or change how they’re feeling, it’s natural to want to help.
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When our friends have been struggling, it can sometimes feel challenging to know what to do or say. Here are a few tips that may help you support someone living with depression.
6 Tips for Supporting a Friend with Depression
1. Let Them Know You’re There for Them
People who are struggling may feel quite isolated or alone. Reach out to your friend to let them know you’re thinking of them and that you’re there if they need anything. That kind of support can feel comforting in difficult times. Even a simple text like, “Thinking of you, no need to reply,” can go a long way. Sometimes, consistent small gestures mean more than big ones. Remember, your role isn’t to “fix” things, just to be there.
2. Don’t Judge
You’ll never fully understand somebody’s life unless you’ve lived it. The reality is that there are many reasons why someone may feel depressed, it could be their circumstances, the weather, or memories of a traumatic event. You also may never know the reason, and that’s okay too. Using a non-judgmental stance helps your friend feel safe opening up. Avoid trying to interpret or minimize what they’re feeling (“It’s not that bad” or “You have so much to be grateful for”). Instead, validate their experience by saying things like, “That sounds really hard,” or “I can see why you’d feel that way.
3. Outings
Meeting for coffee, a walk, or a self-care activity such as a pedicure can be a great way to encourage and support your friend while providing a change of scenery. Just because someone is struggling to initiate plans doesn’t mean they don’t want to see you. That said, depression can make socializing exhausting. Try offering gentle, low-pressure invitations, and let them know there’s no obligation.
4. Active Listening
Sometimes, people really just need to talk. Listening without providing advice can be both comforting and beneficial for a friend. This allows them the space to process how they’re feeling out loud, which can sometimes help them see the situation differently or provide clarity. Active listening means focusing on what they’re saying, not on what you’ll say next. Avoid jumping in with solutions or trying to “cheer them up.” Phrases like “I’m here for you,” or “that sounds really tough,” can go much further than offering advice. If nothing else, being listened to can help them feel valued and understood.
5. Advocacy
Sometimes, things can be difficult to do on your own. If you have a close relationship, offer to drive your friend to an appointment if they’re nervous about going for the first time. It can feel more empowering for them and less lonesome.
6. Involve Professionals
As always, if there are concerns about well-being, encouraging professional support may be necessary. Depression can make it difficult for someone to seek help, so reminding them that professional care is a sign of strength, not weakness, can make a big difference. If you believe that your loved one requires immediate medical attention, calling an ambulance or accompanying them to the nearest hospital may be necessary. You can also call or text 988 in Canada for immediate mental health support.